Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2004 June
2004 April
My Links
Razorbites's Blog
Silentaddict's Blog
Falseexistense's Blog
TaintedEyes
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| different kind of poem |
| 06.07.04 (4:15 pm) [edit] |
SURROUNDED
by the cold black sea of depression.
TRAPPED
in thoughts of painful death.
DOOMED
to a lifetime of sadness.
CRYING OUT
and never getting a reply.
PLEADING
with the demons within to leave.
TOYING
with ideas of suicides and accidents.
SCARING
the people around me.
|
|
|
| |
| into the darkness... |
| 06.05.04 (6:55 pm) [edit] |
trying to get out of this hole,
every road leading to a dead end.
my mind plays tricks on me,
slowly making me go crazy.
i don't know who to turn to,
or what to do with my life.
i don't see a point to trying anymore,
or why other people think i should.
life is not as easy as it seems,
but the people around me make it seem so.
trying ever so hard not to cry into the darkness,
because if i do, it will pull me in forever.
|
|
|
| |
| **alone |
| 04.19.04 (3:34 pm) [edit] |
i feel so alone,
when no one is around.
these nagging voices in my head,
they do not count.
they confirm that i am alone,
that no one is around.
they tell me no one cares,
i almost believe them.
i'm trying to fight the demons within,
but all i have are blank memories.
i hear voices in the distance,
i can't make out the words.
i know that i will not be alone,
not for much longer.
|
|
|
| |
| **empty |
| 04.13.04 (4:01 pm) [edit] |
no hope
already given up
no love
never have had any
no emotions
blown out of my heart
this is me
nothing fake, all real
and totally
EMPTY
|
|
|
| |
| **sea of faces |
| 04.12.04 (11:24 am) [edit] |
heavy mists shroud the world around me,
darkness falls and relieves me of vision.
the sea of angry faces around me,
turn into indescript shadows.
my mind is allowed to slow and gather its bearings,
only to find that i am immersed in the sea of faces.
there is no light at the end of the tunnel,
only a never ending darkness.
the shadows turn into obstacles,
inpossible to surpass.
unable to get out of my demise,
i give up and am lost in this world of darkness.
no need for escape, no need for light,
i do not struggle to live anymore.
|
|
|
| |
| **indescript dream |
| 04.12.04 (11:11 am) [edit] |
darkness falls,
heavy mist shrouds everything around me.
this makes me think,
makes me think of you.
makes me think why i never told you,
told you how i felt.
the critical stares and rude comments,
tell me how much i want to give up.
who's out there,
who's going to save me.
no one will save me,
no one cares.
i don't even care,
there is nothing but you to care about.
|
|
|
| |
| **world of darkness |
| 04.12.04 (11:02 am) [edit] |
i can't see anything around me,
everyone shrouded in heavy mist.
darkness falls over my field of vision,
blocking out everything i live for.
i hear muffled cries through the night,
then wake to find it was just me.
this wetness on my cheeks brings me back,
from my daydreams of places non-existent.
this world i'm in is just so cold,
no where to go, nothing helps.
the critical glares and taunting comments,
where can i go to get away.
i'm stuck in this world of darkness,
with no hope of finding my way out.
|
|
|
| |
| **one glance more |
| 04.07.04 (2:27 pm) [edit] |
the boy downed a pill, then another,
and another.
he emptied the bottle in mere minutes.
the boy looked up from his books,
hoping no one noticed.
just as he hoped,
no one noticed,
for it wasn't unusual,
to see a college boy fall asleep,
while hard at work.
exhausted from long hours of studying.
one glance more would have told you,
that this boy wasn't taking a quick nap.
one glance more would have told you,
that he was going to sleep for eternity.
hours passed.
still no one noticed.
the boy slowly tumbled into unconsciousness,
unware of his surroundings.
no one noticed when his shoulders stopped heaving,
the rythmic rise and fall ended.
no one noticed when he took his last breath,
and slipped into forever,
since no one cared enough to take one glance more.
|
|
|
| |
| **snowflakes |
| 04.07.04 (12:28 pm) [edit] |
as the snowflakes gently fall,
so do my tears,
i just received a call,
that brought me to my knees,
this was the call that changed it all,
it was you calling to say good-bye,
you said you couldn't handle it anymore,
the hatred and hurt,
your soul's shield had broken,
it couldn't be fixed,
so you decided to call me,
the last person you would talk to,
i wished I had of been there for you,
when you really needed me,
i just wasn't thinking,
that you would take your life,
because no one talked to you much,
you told me of your plan,
of your own destruction,
how you would commit suicide,
that there was nothing that I could do,
except say good-bye,
i tried to make you change your mind,
but to no avail,
you did it anyways,
after much pleading,
i said good-bye forever.
|
|
|
| |
| **lost to the world |
| 04.05.04 (4:26 pm) [edit] |
she watches as the blood drips down her arm,
she lets the blood, all of it, pool in the palm of her hand.
sitting transfixed by the dark beauty of her own blood,
she doesn’t notice the shocked face at her door.
the features of the face shift to anger.
the girl sees the shadow on the floor and looks up, timidly,
she knows she has done something wrong, but is not sure what.
she moves from the edge of her bed to the comfort of her bean bag chair.
the face at the door stiffen and turns to go,
a tiny voice makes a plea for help, stopping the face for a moment,
“i know you don’t think i’m for real, but please try to help.”
the person standing at the door, partially turned away, takes on last glance and leaves.
the girl in the corner silently cries a river of tears, wondering what to do next.
when the tears have subsided, and her arm is numb,
her eyes at last fall upon the bottle of pills laying on their side.
deciding that it would be best if she wasn’t around anymore,
she downs the fifty or so pill left in the bottle with a gulp of water.
as the effects of the drugs set in, she writes this,
“dear god, i hope you’re happy. never will i mar your kingdom above with my scarred arms and bloodstained hands.”
the drugs take control of her pretty face, and her face contorts with pain,
her breaths no longer come at the slow raspy pace, but not at all,
and she is lost to the world forever.
|
|
|
| |
| **whispers |
| 04.05.04 (2:20 pm) [edit] |
i can hear your whisper in my ear,
shunning my every fear.
my walls are slowly tumbling down,
this smile is turning into a frown.
everyone thinks it's depression,
i see it as confession.
my mind is confused,
down and feeling abused.
i crawl into the corner,
always trying to go further.
|
|
|
| |
| **random rhyming** |
| 04.05.04 (1:23 pm) [edit] |
if you could feel what i feel,
you too would know it's hard to deal.
fake embrace,
expressionless faces,
can't control how i feel,
everything is just too real.
it's too hard to explain,
don't want to complain.
all these years have been a waste,
blood and tears are all i taste.
my eyes always conceal,
all the things i ever feel.
everything just keeps getting worse,
when's this bubble gonna burst?
transferring the pain,
from my heart down the drain.
once the cut heals,
it no longer feels.
if you could feel what i feel,
you too would know it's hard to deal.
|
|
|
| |
| **losing hope |
| 04.05.04 (1:22 pm) [edit] |
i'm losing hope,
please, someone throw me a rope.
i need to be reeled in,
out of this noisy din.
no one ever cares,
not even my best friend dares.
my body feels like it's on fire,
these evils never seem to tire.
this happiness is just a shield,
my inner self never dealed.
the hurt and pain is ever present,
the prayers you say barely make a dent.
in the horrible reality you call living,
of it i will never be forgiving.
|
|
|
| |
| *drifting away* |
| 04.05.04 (1:07 pm) [edit] |
my actions are bad,
thoughts are worse.
i don't know what's happening,
i feel like i'm drifting away.
my actions portray my feelings,
the scars tell a story.
they tell of heartbreak and hurt,
of sadness and silence.
questions are asked,
answers are given.
but something is not right,
something is happening that should not be.
i am drifting away,
never to return.
|
|
|
| |
| **perfect world |
| 04.03.04 (1:49 pm) [edit] |
the sky above is ever blue,
the friends i have are always true.
the stars twinkle above,
the world is full of love.
a white dove flies the the sky,
i never have to wonder why.
everyone always tries,
no one ever cries.
everyone i know is optimistic,
nothing in this world is traumatic.
no heart is ever broken,
every word is a precious token.
this is my perfect world,
this dream will never be unfurled.
everything in the REAL world is mishappen,
my perfect world will never happen.
|
|
|
| |
| Blade** |
| 04.03.04 (1:48 pm) [edit] |
Hold a blade close to your skin,
Push deep, push it all the way in.
Don't scream in pain,
Just let your tears fall like rain.
Don't even try to put up a fight,
In the end, nothing is alright.
I can't say that I care,
It just wouldn't be fair.
I never really thought about you before,
Never thought I would see you lying on the floor.
|
|
|
| |
| *out* |
| 04.03.04 (1:47 pm) [edit] |
my stomach somersaulted,
as i tried to explain.
i tried to explain what was going on,
they stared in disbelief,
not knowing what to think,
they didn't know what to say,
but i could tell they were trying,
i could see it in their eyes.
feelings of shock, hurt, disappointment,
it's not easy to look someone in the eye,
especially when they convery every feeling felt.
a feeling of guilt washed over me,
made me wish i'd kept my problems to myself.
i looked anywhere but their eyes,
studying everything in sight.
anything to not think about what was going on,
not wanting to let the dam go that held the memories back.
it's not easy to admit you're wrong,
especially when you fought so hard.
the questions could not end soon enough.
i was tired of thinking.
i wanted out.
|
|
|
| |
| *i look to you* |
| 04.03.04 (1:46 pm) [edit] |
i want to tell you not to worry about me,
but i know i would be wrong in doing so.
i want to scream *yes!*
i *do* need to be taken by the hand.
i admit that i do not feel big enough,
to be making these decisions.
i am not strong enough,
to win this battle alone.
so i look to you for the support i need,
and for the guidance i crave.
i am too confused by what is going on in my mind,
so i look to you for an explanation, a justification.
in your eyes i find none,
and i realize i will forever be alone.
|
|
|
| |
| **deeper |
| 04.03.04 (1:28 pm) [edit] |
[b]**deeper[/b]
next time maybe i'll choose death,
maybe this'll be my last breath.
everytime i cut,
i wanna go deeper, but,
it's always too hard,
i don't want to go too far.
i think i care too much,
gotta throw away this crutch,
i wanna let go,
just go with the flow.
the pain is deep,
not something i want to keep,
i want to get rid of it,
wish it didn't exist.
i'd be better off without,
not a single doubt.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
